You might have heard of planning for Z-day, the plan you make for when zombies inevitably rise up and come running (or lurching depending on which films frightened you the most) for you and your family. It’s important to make plans for nightmare scenarios, because when you’re safely established on top of the Mega-mart with a helicoptor landing pad, a sniper rifle and several years worth of ammunition and food you can be super smug towards all those hapless losers banging on the doors begging to be let in.
Google’s breaking-down a few days ago led me to create a G-day plan: a strategy for coping in the most disastrous, inconceivable circumstance whereby Google breaks or turns evil. Here then, is the rough draft of my plan.
Step 1. Drink some Red Bull. (or cheaper equivalent) You’re going to need your energy, soldier.
Step 2. Clear Firefox internet history – it’s riddled with broken Google stuff. If Google goes down, then so will Firefox, as I learned to my dismay. (see post below) Plus, if Google turns evil then your best bet is to quiickly erase all traces they might chase you up on. Having said that they’ll already have your physical and online address and know your search history, so maybe that’s a tad pointless.
Step 3. Open IE and delete your Gmail account, then open add/remove programs and remove google toolbar, Google earth and so on. If you’re using a Google OS or browser, I imagine you’ll have to manually dissassemble your computer, and if you’re using a Google PC, well, threre’s a lesson about eggs and baskets here for you.
Step 4. Set your homepage to ask.com. I know it sucks, but I think it has a peculiar charm. So there.
Step 5. Give yourself a pat on the back, and start making your ‘how to live without the internet’ plan. Also maybe watch Dexter. I love Dexter.
